A Week in the Life of Piccolo
by Kryptonite 3000
Summary: Experience a week in the life of Piccolosan, our favorite green dude! R&R, Peoples!
1. Monday Day 1

**A Week in the Life of Piccolo  
**By Piccolo's #1 Fan, Lysette M.

I do not own DBZ, nor would I have the potential to, nor would Akira Toriyama let me ensue chaos among the DBZ fan world ... -sigh-. Here goes everything!

**MONDAY  
****DAY 1**  


6:00 am - I pause from my meditating to see Vegeta stumbling in. Apparently, he was yet again sniffing paint from the open canisters in the back hall that Dr. Briefs had forgotten to close. He slumps on my shoulder and says, "This place bites ... can I have a fucking soda?"

I stare at him for 5 minutes, and then he passes out.

"Dear God," I mutter to myself.

6:15 am - Bulma arrives from her business trip to Italy looking as if she had gone through Hell a few times over. By then, I had already put Vegeta on the couch. His snoring was overbearingly loud, so I decided to wake him up by saying, "Your wife's here."

As if actually paying attention, he awoke and rushed passed her out the door.

"And don't sniff the paint canisters in the back hall again," Bulma yelled as he left.

"Shut up," he shouted back as he flew away.

Bulma, in a fit of exhaustion, took a bath and called Chi-Chi to see if she wanted to go shopping all day.

"Chi-Chi?" -pause- "Yeah, it's me ... look, if you wanna go shopping, I'm up for grabs." -pause- "Yeah, seven-fifty, I'll be there ..."

She looked over at me and asked hoarsely, "Could you watch over the kids for us?"

"What happened to Gohan?"

"He's still at the sleepover at Videl's house," she answered lazily.

"And Goku?"

"Chi-Chi knocked him out with a baseball bat yesterday when he scared her. He's still knocked out. So ... will you?"

"Fine."

She turns back to the phone and says, "He said yeah. I'll be there in a sec, OK?"

She hung up and hassled upstairs to wash herself down.

What am I, 9-1-1 Nanny?

7:15 am - Bulma had finished getting ready and had already grabbed the keys for the Capsule Car in her hand.

"Goten's gonna fly over here from his house, OK? And make sure Trunks eats breakfast and brushes his teeth before he goes to train with Vegeta," she instructed me.

"Yeah, just go, OK? Everything's going to be fine once you go shopping," I answered back, still staring out of the window at the colorless fall sky.

"Mm-kay! Bye-bye!"

7:50 am - Trunks came down from bed soon after his mother left.

"M-mommy's gone," he yawned lazily.

"Yeah."

"And where's Daddy?"

"He ran away," I said, my eyes fixed on a bird taking a sandbath.

"WHAT? HE'S GONE FOREVER?"

"No! He just ran away for a little while ... that's all," I assured him.

"Oh," he said as he looked at the floor down at his lavender socks.

"Goten's coming over-"

"-Yay! Could you make me a bowl of cereal while I go get ready? Please?"

"Yeah ..."

He leaves to get clothes on and I get up to pour him a bowl of Trix.

7:57 am - He's already gobbling down his cereal as the doorbell rings. I answer it, and in flies Goten wearing the same gi outfit he always does. Trunks tries to hurry on eating his breakfast, and in the process, almost chokes on a piece of cereal lodged in his small throat. He and Goten almost rush out the door until I say, "Trunks Briefs ..."

"Yeah, what is it? Hurry up, me and Goten wanna go play outside!"

"Go brush your teeth."

"Aw, man! What are you, my dad?"

"Not even close, but right now, I'm your supervisor and commander. Now go brush your teeth!"

Goten covered up a violent snigger, which he had managed to pass off as just a small sneeze.

12:07 pm - Trunks and Goten come in from playing outside for almost 4 hours. I asked what they had done during that time and they explained to me that they had been squishing worms in their hands and playing with ants. (Presumably, one was still in Goten's pants, and he was now squirming all over the place until he managed to get iton his arm.) I had almost gagged violently, but forced myself to keep it in. They were dirty after eating lunch, so I told them to take a bath.

2:00 pm - I was meditating until I heard a crashing sound in the kitchen. Goten and Trunks were having a so-called "plate fight", and obviously, they were throwing Bulma's plates around. They rest for several seconds as I rush in, clear my throat, take several deep breaths and start to yell at them.

"Trunks, your mother and father are going to kill me! Do you know how much these plates cost?"

"Uh ... no."

"Fifteen bucks a plate!"

Trunks squirms as he stands there and doesn't look me in the eye.

"That goes for you, too, Goten ..."

Neither of them look me in the eye as I say this.

"Look ... I ... I'm sorry for yelling, but you both need to consider what might happen if you get into big trouble. Please tell me that this sort of thing won't happen again ..."

My voice was abnormally soft and gentle when I said this. I actually found it kind of surprising.

Then, in a feeble effort to hug me, Trunks and Goten grabbed both of my legs and clung tightly.

"We're sorry, Piccolo ..." both said.

Both were almost crying.

"Dad's gonna kill me. He got a part time teachingjob at Orange County Highto help my mom pay for these plates ... oh, I'm so stupid ..." Trunks said, shuddering.

"And I should've said 'no' ... my mom's gonna yell at me when she finds out," Goten sobbed.

"And it won't happen again ..." both said in small voices.

"C'mon ... let's clean this place up before your moms get here," I said, picking up a broom.

4:00 pm - We finish cleaning and the boys finished crying over the broken plates.

We sat, slumped over on the couch, our heads in our hands.

"Maybe my mom will stay over Ms. Chi-Chi's house ... and then, we can use some of the emergency money to buy new plates," Trunks thought out loud.

"The emergency money is for real emergencies, not for situations with flying plates are involved," I answered.

"But this _is_ an emergency, Piccolo," Goten said while laughing.

On cue, the phone rang.

"Moshi moshi," I answered. -pause- "OK." -pause- "No, I don't mind taking care of the boys." -pause- "Sure, I'll tell 'em." -pause- "Yeah ... 'bye."

I hung up the phone, and a small smile spread across my face.

"Trunks, Goten ... you are in luck. Bulma's going on another business trip today and she'll be leaving with Chi-Chi. So ... uh ... Trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"Where _is_ that emergency money?"

"Either in my mom's room or where my dad used to sleep before they got married."

5:00 pm - It had been an hour before we actually found $300 out of $150,000,000 emergency money, and Vegeta soon came in after I had changed into my human outfit. (Which, if it was not plainly obvious, I hated.)

"Where are you three going," he asked as he pulled out a Coke from the fridge.

"Shopping," I said as I grabbed his denim jacket.

"Why?"

"You've got to promise not to tell Bulma ... she'll kill me ..."

"Sure," he grinned.

"Veggie, I'm serious ..."

"Oh, fine! Just tell me why you have to go shopping!"

"We broke the plates that you and Mom had gotten before I was born," Trunks said bravely.

"Did you? Well ... I'll give you a beating later."

"Bite me," Trunks shouted furiously.

He flew out of the door, with Goten and me following as we left a scowling Vegeta behind.

6:00 pm - We finished buying the plates, Goten and Trunks having collapsed into sleep as I carried them _and_ the plates back to Capsule Corporation.

Vegeta had fallen asleep while watching "Wallace and Gromit".

I laid both of the kids down on the sofa beside him.

'This was one Hell of a day,' I thought as I smiled.

"Hey, Piccolo," Vegeta whispered hoarsely, "Where's Bulma?"

"She on another one of her annoying, yet enjoyable business trips," I whispered back.

"Cool. Remind me tomorrow that I should call her."

"Sure."

12:30 pm - I had showered and trained for that precise time, my body aching from all the running around.

Goten and Trunks had come into my room when I was meditating, and looked at me.

Then, Goten decided to ask, "We know you don't sleep ... but _please_ can we sleep with you tonight?"

"Um ... fine."

I had uncovered the bed its warm covers and laid myself on it, Goten and Trunks fast asleep beside me.

Tomorrow was another day, another pleasant time with the boys.

**END OF DAY 1**

Lysette: Hallo, my peeps! How are ya! Did you like Day 1 of my 7 chapter story? Please encourage me to continue by reviewing, peoples! 'Bye!

Trunks and Goten: (Waving Vigorously) See ya later, alligators!


	2. Tuesday Day 2

A Week in the Life of Piccolo  
By Piccolo's #1 Fan, Lysette Mora

Here is the next chapter to my week-long story! Hope you enjoy it!

TUESDAY  
DAY 2

5:00 am - I hear the TV go on, and Trunks is now watching the "Weird Al Show." I turn over on my bed and realized that Goten was on the floor playing with some Legos.

I hear the lyrics to the TV show and decide to hear Trunks sing the song.

5:01 am - I see Trunks purple-haired head move side to side and Vegeta shaking his head to his pathetic son's singing.But then, Vegeta_himself_ starts to sing the lyrics.

_Oh, this is the story 'bout a guy named Al  
__and he lived in a sewer with his  
__hamster pal  
__But the sanitation workers really didn't approve  
__So he packed up his accordian and had to move  
__  
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree  
__and he worked in a nasal decongestant factory  
__And he played on the company bowling team  
__And every single night he had a strange recurring dream  
__Where he was wearing lederhosen in a vat of sour cream  
__But that's really not important to the story_

_Well, the very next year he met a dental hygenist  
__with a spatula tatooed on her arm (on her arm)  
__But he didn't keep in touch and he lost her number  
__Then he got himself a job on a tater tot farm  
__And he spent his life savings on a split-level cave  
__Twenty miles below the surface of the earth (of the earth)  
__And he really makes a mighty fine jelly-bean and pickle sandwich  
__For what it's worth_

_Then one day Al was in the forest tryin' to get a tan  
__When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man  
__He was caught in a bear trap and Al set him free  
__And the guy that he rescued was grateful as can be  
__And it turns out that he's a big-shot producer on TV  
__So he gives Al a contract and whaddya know?  
__Now he's got his very own Weird Al  
__Shoooooooooooooooooooooow!_

Is this the lowest level Trunks can stoop to? I guess so.

7:00 am - Vegeta gobbles down 3 P-B-and-J sandwiches and a whole gallon of milk before he leaves to wreck the G.R. while training again. 'If he breaks it, do _I_ have to fix it,' I thought, 'because my I.Q.'s only 180 ... but ... I can't fix technology for crap.'

9:00 am - It turns out Vegeta, as if I had jynxed it, had finally broken the Gravity Room's main computer.

I take some wrenches and the blueprints and head there.

10:00 am - Yes, I really was stuck in the generator of the computer for an hour. My antennas were tangled in the mess of wires and my hand was caught while I was trying to wrench a screw back in.

"Screw the damn thing in, you insect! I don't have all day," Vegeta screamed at me.

"I'm screwing for all I'm worth," I shouted back lazily.

10:30 am - Done! Vegeta stared at me and my messy face (which, if you hadn't figured it out, was _covered_ in oil ...). I went upstairs and took a shower, making sure the black substance off of my face was completely washed off. Boy, if I'm going to have to deal with this for a week, I should've brought my book on _Dealing With Pesky People._

12:00 pm - Nothing special. In fact, nothing special at all. I felt like seeing Gohan and Goku (And also to make sure that Goku's head withstanded the bat impact. Then again, his head could take damage from _anything_.) and maybe even Master Roshi just to say 'Hi.'

But nothing worked. Not even watching _My Fair Lady_ was enjoyable. Vegeta was eating all the food and Goten and Trunks were whining that they were bored.

"Shut up you brats! I'm busy," Vegeta screamed at them.

"Nuh-uh! You're just eating all of the stuff in the fridge until you get fat," Goten screamed back at him.

"Why you-"

"-Don't try it, Vegeta. I'll kick your ass faster then you can say your own name," I said in a low, angry tone.

"V-"

I flashed behind him, literally kicking him in his ass.

"What did I just say?"

"You insect! You'll pay for this!"

He walked out of the room, rubbing his buttocks slightly.

The boys began to laugh and smiled at me.

"C'mon ... let's go see Goku."

3:00 pm - We didn't do much except for singing the "Weird Al Theme song". We began to watch _Pirates of the Carribean_ and Goku, Goten, Trunks and I were immersed in singing _A Pirate's Life for Me!_. Goku began to swallow down some cereal as we watched and Master Roshi came in, looking at his sandals and laughing.

"I'm aware ... Piccolo ..." he started, "that you kicked Vegeta in his hindquarters ... heh heheh!"

He began to crack up and Goku spit out his cereal and began to laugh, too.

"Really, Piccolo?"

I saw Vegeta scowling at the top of the stairs.

"I'm going to kill you ..."

"Over _this_? My God, Vegeta," Goku said inbetween laughs.

6:00 pm - Goten and Tunks were watching the "Weird Al Show" and were singing a song along with the show. I loved the lyrics to the song. When they said the Libra part (_a big promotion is around the corner ... for someone much more talented than you!_), I actually cracked up.

8:00 pm - I decided to go to bed early and stay over Goku's house.

Vegeta slept on the couch and the boys slept in Goku's room.

This was cool.

More Hell in store forme ...

Oh God ...

END OF DAY 2

Lysette: You likey? Good! Reviewy!  
Goku: Bye-bye!  
Vegeta: Get the Hell out of here.  
Master Roshi: To all of you very pretty girls out there! Call me!  
Trunks and Goten: Smell ya later!


End file.
